wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
