Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
