so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
