Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
