So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
