he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
