Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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