hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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