If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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