Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
