theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
