the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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