Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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