my vag is so smooth its legendary
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
