Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
