Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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