Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
