3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
