i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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