woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
