you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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