I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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