I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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