sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
