everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
