and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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