I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
