i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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