did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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