He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
