Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
