Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
