Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
