Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
