thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
