She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He kissed a someone with a penis
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
