Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
