i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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