guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
