I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
