There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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