So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
