I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
