Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
