I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
