If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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