I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
