I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
