Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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