ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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